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It’s  been too long since I last posted something..WAY TOO LONGGGG

Been in this new company for more than 7 months..

Yet complications occur again and again..

Our Techxpo Show Manager tendered his resignation and now..with a little experience, I am left to do this...can i manage it???

I cant really imagine how things would turn out...i am so inexperienced..no confident =(

Everything was so scary...and just turned out so sudden....

On the other side, Mum wants me to go back to help her as she is intending to expand her business and she wants to locate me to one of the new branch to manage the shop...i am not superman..but i dont tink I’m capable of all this..

no experience..no confident....

all i can do it try my best...what to do?
sob =(
 

Current Mood:
gloomy gloomy
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wana post something...useful and meaningdul...but i guess today was a not as colorful, not as plain...neither one...

but haiz.................. there's always a thing that cannot be resolved...why?????

2 yrs ago like that liaw...now new problem again....

Make decision based on ur conclusion, not mine. ='(

Current Mood:
depressed depressed
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part A says...do wat u want to do..dont have to care so much
part B says..u have to tink for others too..u cant jus do wat u wan...after all it's ur own business in the future..

Part A says..why u so busybody? nobody asked u to do anything..dont be so one sided and making everyone spend money unwillingly
Part B says...i think it's good to make gathering..after all..it's not always...it's like perhaps once or twice or thrice in a year?

Part A says...it's fun to disturb u..
Part B says..stop doing this and be frens laaa

PArt A says..let's get back to the old life..
Part B says..let's go crazy again!!! and vomit like nobody's business! haha

[ dedicated to me, myself and irene ]

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u left early this morning..all i can do is stay back and count down..
count down when u'll be back..

was so blur today that i forgot to bring my wallet out..
night meet my hannah dahleng for mani pedi =)

ahhhhhh...i miss my bf =(((

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如果可以选,我宁愿忘记我们的一切
如果可以控制,我宁愿把你给我的伤心回忆给删除掉

你曾经让我跌到深渊
我好不容易拉了自己一把
你却再度让我跌得更深

事隔三秋,我们成了朋友
我以为你这个朋友我当得起
但原来再度看见你时,脑子里却只有伤心回忆
我没想到你对我的影响那么深
我恨你
不想再看见你
因为如果我真的遇到你
我只会假装的对你微笑
心里却是万劫不复
我不想看见你
不想知道你过的怎样

看到你的开心
我心里却是不悦
不懂何时,我把我们的友情,转情为恨
或许我潜意识里,早已把我们的关系,变得无法收拾的地步
或许你无心把我逼成这样
但一切已太迟
我恨你,已成定局

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this feeling..

where does it come from?

i'm feeling so complicated..

perhaps i'm afraid of letting go..i'm afraid that i dint treasure them much..
but i jus dono how to react..

i scared that i'll lost them one day...and make myself regret for not cherish my time with them..

jus now dad came down jus to passed me pocket money..
i feel so...speechless..
he said he's going to pass me stuff then i thought he need to leave anything with me or wat..
then he passed me money..then i was like..
"dad i got enuf..u use it urself ya..i got enuf"
then he said "it's ok u jus take"
then he quickly left with uncle..rushing back to jb

i feel very bad..like..i shouldn't take his money...i know he wont have enuf to use for himself..but he jus came down to pass it to me..
besides i'm working part itme now also..
hai..i feel so bad myself...
he's in jb alone..but then i never get to go there and look for him for meal even once..
i think i'm really an unfilial daughter =(

at noon i called my aunt..jiu niang..she doesnt sound so good also..i feel so sad..she's the mum of my late cuz who passed away recently..
hai............i'm so useless =((((

i dono wat to do...i shall look for a job soon and then earn money and give them...
i'm so useless..or perhaps i shud make calls as frequent as possible..
in the past i seldom call my parents....i'm so bad........... hai

I HATE MYSELF.... I HATE MY SELFISHNESS... I HATE THIS FEELING...THIS COMPLICATED FEELING =(((
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hate hate life...

everyone around me quarreling..

sien..

having argument everyday..sien myself also

i hate everything now..

i jus wan to be alone..

let me go...

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i googled for the meaning of life..and i get this from wikipedia..

The meaning of life constitutes a philosophical question concerning the purpose and significance of human existence. This concept can be expressed through a variety of related questions, such as Why are we here?, What's life all about? and What is the meaning of it all? It has been the subject of much philosophical, scientific, and theological speculation throughout history. There have been a large number of answers to these questions from many different cultural and ideological backgrounds. Albert Camus observed, we humans are creatures who spend our lives trying to convince ourselves that our existence is not absurd.

The meaning of life is deeply mixed with the philosophical and religious conceptions of existence, consciousness, and happiness, and touches on many other issues, such as symbolic meaning, ontology, value, purpose, ethics, good and evil, free will, conceptions of God, the existence of God, the soul and the afterlife. Scientific contributions are more indirect; by describing the empiricalfacts about the universe, science provides some context and sets parameters for conversations on related topics. An alternative, human-centric, and not a cosmic/religious approach is the question "What is the meaning of my life?" The value of the question pertaining to the purpose of life may be considered to be coincidal with the achievement of ultimate reality, if that is believed by one to exist.

If the existence of one has a purpose, then why does one dies?

I jus received a very bad news...my cousin passed away this noon...

I cant help but cried and cried..it's just so sudden..

Although we only met during cny but to me, he used to be someone who really is a nice 'big brother'.

When i was young and often went back Ipoh for vacation, he used to bring me around with his motorbike.

And i enjoyed riding in motorbike a lot..

There was once after the ride, i burnt my leg when i accidentally placed it near the pipe where the gas heat is released..forgot wat the exact word is..and i was so slow to react to the burnt..

He was so shocked and quickly brought me into the house and applied some medical oil to my leg..i wasnt crying cos i dont feel pain at all at that point of time i dono why..my aunt and the rest were very worried but i seem to be numb.

Ever since that incident, he became a very special 'koko' to me.

After many years when everyone and everything has changed, i only go back to meet them during cny and usually jus a normal greeting and wont be able to talk much. Perhaps when we all have grown up, our relationship with one another tends to change.

I jus cant believe that things changed so fast. I cant accept the fact that he is gone, it's all jus too sudden.

When i was during sec 2, my fren's brother passed away in an accident. Some driver jus hit on him without seeing him crossing the road. He was only 16 and we used to perform dance together in a big group. He was the very first fren that i've lost...

Remember during my O level year, my Maths teacher suffered from stroke and was hospitalized in KL. I guessed he wasn't able to hang on and thus jumped off from the hospital building. We were all very shocked and sad. He is a very nice teacher. Half a year later when i was attending my sister wedding, the very night before the big day, i received another news that his daughter, whom was my senior and my dancing club fren, jumped off from another building because she missed her father too much. She even left her shoes and phone from where she jumped off. It was reported in the paper that she msged her mum her last words. Her mum was my accounting teacher back in my secondary school too but she quitted after her husband's incident. We all were very worried about her. The family of four were left two, her and their son.

Probably a year back, when dengue was very wide spread, my accountant teacher was suspected with the virus in KL. She then left the world after hospitalized for a few days. I was in contact with her son's best fren. He said she had fever and was suspected with dengue, but it turned out to be something else. I forgot wat that is, but i remembered it was serious because the hospital delayed in curing her as they thought it was jus something minor. Now the only son is left alone. But as a fren, i talk to him in msn. I know his frens are all very caring for him. At least right now he's doing good, learning to do property from his cousin.

Life is indeed fragile..vulnerable...

You'll never know what will happen tomoro..I know everyone would be familiar with this sentence..but it's really true..cos i'm feeling it right now..

Treasure everyone around you..tell them how u feel..
Living in regret is the biggest failure in life...

Hoping Ah Kok ko rest in peace.......
 


Current Mood:
sad sad
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So happY anD saD yeSterday~!
Happy cos my Beloved porkchops and joyceY moYcey anD mW n gREg celebrateD my birThday with ME!!!
Sad..cos Hm..doNo why..this kind of feeling..of saying bye bye to 21..kinda makes me sad =.=

Met kay and shaN in cineleisure in the late morning.
while we were wondering wher to go..shan suggested to go kboX! it would be weiRd if i said "no" =P
then we took lift to level 8..then they 2 wanted to go toilet make "big and small" businesses..
so toilet we went..when suddenly two familiar faces popped up..
Joo and JoyceY..hahahah and Joo said something like..."bei cai chuan le" (being exposed)
then i smell something fishy in the toilet ( i noe this sounds wrong..)haha
then after the 'businesses' they led me to the room 30 ( if i'm not wrong ) and i saw greg n mw inside..
SURPRISED! no they dint say that =P hahaha (or..did they?LOL)

Aiyaaa but horr..i really really happy lor..i miss singing kbox and they brought me to kbox!!!! hahaHAHA
and i sang and laughed til my throat become 'sandy' (sha ya) LOL
we took lots of pix using jooo's polaroid and camera and kay's one as well..haha so fun!!!!
towards the end of the kboX session..they surprised me again with caKE!!
i seriously never think of it! hahaha
Then later oN..gift timE aftEr cake timE!! hahaha so hAAPPpyyyy =D

Really feel so happy =D
they surprised me again and again!! hahah i love surpriseS =D
they really 'you xing' lor..so happy to have them as my frens..

at night i went out with my sis and bro-in-law to pasir panjang and had our crab meat meaL~ yumyum
we had: black pepper crab, chilli crab, hokkien mee, bbq chicken wings, and fried little squids, teh peng, teh tarik and lime juice..

when i got home and bathed..
i read the card the 'gang' wrote for me jus now..saw the gift they got for me..
my heart melts..awww...
really doNo how to describe this kind of feeling..
i'm really happy to be surrounded by them..i'm really glad to know them..
but somehow..i feel that..in the future these things may not happen again...
our lives will change..
we'll all lead different life..
we'll meet different people..
i feel that..we wont have so much opportunities together..when we all will be busy with our own things..
i jus wana make this moment stops...at least..in my memory =)
no one could describe this feeling of mine..
i'm just too happy and comfortable with the status quo..

SO HAPPY AND LOVING THE M11 BUDDIES~!! =D

received lots of unexpected greeting msgs and calls from old frens...awww...really miss them...
my beloved boyfren surprised me and celebrated with me earlier despite him being so stress rushing for projects..so sweet =)
and family too..they give me food..love..and things that i want...i couldn't ask for more..

why am i so emo at this hour? LOL

i love myself..and i love my family..and i love my frens..
thus i hope everyone around me will stay happy and healthy always~ yay~ ^_^

preTty preTty piX takeN by Jooo's polaroiD~ *thanKS jojojojojojo =D*


 

        


My 22nd Birthday at Kbox =D

p/s: i know the pix are small..but i had hard time changing the size..stil not very good in it =P
will upload in fb soon  hehe =)
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This is the contact lens i bought a month ago..and thanks to Linda babeh cos she taught me how to wear contact lens for the first time..i had a hard time putting in the lenses into my eyes...my eyes cried LOL but stil i managed to put it in..wakakaka 


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My first grey colored contact lens =)

Next, a 4 days 3 nights trip in Penang is definitely not enough..i still want to eat the foods there..i still wana shop there!! everything is damn cheappppppp!! aRghh!! i love the sea a lot..everytime i went ther i would definitely take a lot lot LOt of pics..lol usually i would go there with my 2nd sister and her friends..but this time it's a family trip =) my parents jus like being there..so damn relaxed..and we could even have an evening nap in the balcony with the wind blowing and a nice view of the blue sky on top..everything is jus so nice..and natural..i really love being in there..i can find peace in my mind while being there..how i wish time could stop..

The morning was fantastic if u could catch the sunrise..it's really nice..i saw it last time but i never got to wake up on time on this trip..so sad..i love the time in the late afternoon being in the hotel standing at the balcony of our room..i can feel the wind blowing and i get to see a nice view of the sea..During the night there would be some events sometimes at the ground floor by the beach..sometimes there are people down there barbeque-ing in the night..you can catch a good city night view too if u get to Penang Hill..



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:: Sea and Sky ::

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A super big jellyfish being washed to the shore


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Bro ready to flyyyy

      
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Bro and Mum Jet-skied! XD

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My fav shot - bay watch ;D

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love the seaaaaa

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during sunset

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the happy memories.. =)

Went to The Night Safari for the first time with my dear and friends =) had lots of shock and fun LOL shocked is by the damn scary make up and halloween costume of the staffs..but they are really professional. When they dont smile, they freaking dont smile..hahaha very cooL~ had a ride with the gang during the animal touring show..my eyes were wide opened. haha

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The only 3 girls...

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Ok make that a 4 LOL

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One funny butcher LOL

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I wanted to do her makeup HAHAHA

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I love this genie babe XD

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Oh well =P


Finally the damn heavy module's exam ended! though i know i didn't do well =( but well~ it ended!

The classmates celebrated ShanShine's 21st at Xin WAng marina square. HAha surprise after surprise for her =) after that me, kerren, josephine, joyce, mw and favian went to Kbox while the rest went home. I really need to singggg cos i missed singing a lot..

In between there was a game session in which we joined..for that we spent one hour in it so in the end i felt like we didn't sing much though we sang til 3am..LOL The game session by kbox is like..list the song title and also 'jie long you xi', doN really know to describe..but not bad la..in the first round favian lost and got to drink a tube of honey as punishment..haha he said it was too sweet though.

The gang pushed me to play the 2nd game and with the help of them i won the game! hahahahha we each got 'coffin' keychains and i got a pair of free tickets of the movie 20th Century Boys. No idea what movie that is though LOL


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The surprise at Millenia walk

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The food ....i'm hungry T_T


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i wish i wish....i blow i blow

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Hope you enjoyeD~ ^^

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I still love this..hahah
copyright@Joanna LOL

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the k-Box-ers

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Favian sang with feelings....XD see his expression


Few days ago during work..i met one angmo who speaks Mandarin to me..i was stunned for 2 sec then he asked "Do you speak mandarin?" then i was like..ya ya 'wo hui wo hui' ( i know i know) LOL hahahah so embarrassing..but he was damn good lor! his chinese is so fluent that i got surprised..he said he used to work in China for 3 yrs..then now he came sG and plans to work for 3 yrs also. AFter that he probably will move to Taiwan or Malaysia. I really PEI FU him..cool!!!! meaning like..kinda "salute". LOL i didn't mean to be 'sua ku' but i really got shock..cos this was the first time i really spoke to angmo who can speak fluent Mandarin..eventhough i've saw lots of times of them appearing in TV speaking Chinese.

Damn lots of pix in this post..thus i named it as the photos post. hahah

and the boyfren surprised me jus now by fetching me off from work. So happy! XD heheh 

tomoro morning is another day for work..it's 3am now and i'm stil here blogging..later work at 10 30am i wil be very very very tired oledi~ but wil meet the bruNei gang after that..woohoo~~~ =D

Current Mood:
tired tired
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